Thank you to Dawn at Drawing Closer to Christ for nominating me for Honor the Father Tag.
The meaning of this tag
A father is someone who loves his child unconditionally, provides for them, protects them always, teaches them values, disciplines them fairly, and wants the best for them. For that, we should always, ALWAYS have respect for our fathers. They are created to bear the responsibility of caring for and protecting their families just as God calls them to do. Father’s Day is about reminding your father how much you appreciate him, but I hope this tag will perhaps remind you this month how blessed you are to have a father at all.
As I said before, this is a very hard day for me every year. My father and I have a very complex relationship. In fact, it is the polar opposite of my relationship with my mother. Growing up I felt abandoned, rejected, unloved, forgotten, and neglected because of his behavior that stemmed from alcoholism and what I believe could have been other mental health issues (don’t quote me, I’m not a doctor XD).
I will always love my father. He is a part of me, half of me to be exact. However, mustering the strength to honor or respect him at all has taken a long time to do. We talk sometimes over text, but not a lot. Some days he responds and I feel like we’re getting somewhere, then he vanishes like he always did. It has helped living a thousand miles away from him since finishing high school, but I have come to accept the pain I feel from my childhood will never go away. Recently, in the last week actually, he said something that has proven he’ll never change. I was trying to gain closure, but he continues to blame me for things that I may talk about in another post. Anyways, he may move on in his life, which is painful for me to watch, but that doesn’t change the past he continues to deny and blame me for.
If you have a similar situation, whether you have been abused, manipulated, abandoned, or rejected by your father (even someone else in your family), can I give you some advice that has helped me cope with such a toxic relationship?
You have a choice. You can walk away. You can block a number. You can say no. You can cut them off from your life. That doesn’t mean you don’t honor them, that just means you have enough respect for yourself to protect your heart and enough respect for them to love them at a safe distance. You can pray for someone every day and never talk to them again. Isn’t that better than subjecting yourself to more pain and building up further resentment that could become the poison of unforgiveness? I think so, because no one deserves to be abused in any way. You deserve love. If you don’t/didn’t receive that love from your father, always know you have a Father in Heaven who loves you more than your father ever could.
I hope you do have an awesome father though. If you do, give him a bear hug and be grateful to have the best protector you could have on this earth. If you don’t, pray for him, friend
Here are the rules:
1. Thank the person who nominated you to participate.
2. Use the original featured image.
3. Copy and paste the introduction and meaning of this tag at the beginning of your post, along with the links to both creators’ original posts. *This rule is very important. Please, please link this post and Purple Rose’s post so that as authors we may be alerted when a tag is published. It also gives us proper credit, which is much appreciated. Thank you
4. Answer the questions.
5. Nominate one or more people to participate.
6. Enjoy the rest of your month!
Here are the questions for this month’s tag:
1. What is your relationship like with your biological father, if anything at all?
My dad died in March, 2015 at the age of 94, but I still feel a strong bond with him and he’s in my thoughts often. Something always occurs to bring back funny and happy memories of him. He was a good dad, but I never really got close to him until my mum passed away in 2012. I’m glad I got the chance to get to know him properly.
2. What is one thing you would change about your father if you could? What is one thing you wouldn’t change?
When my parents were both still alive, my dad knew just which buttons to push to wind my mother up, which caused chaos in our home. It was entertainment to him, but I wish he hadn’t done it quite so much.
I wouldn’t change how kind he was, especially to animals.
3. Who do you celebrate on Father’s Day (your father, step-father, grandfather, uncle, etc.)?
I celebrate my own dad, my husband’s dad (also passed away) and the hubster.
4. What was the most valuable thing he taught you?
Try to always be honest.
5. What is one thing he does that you would never do?
I didn’t dare wind my mother up the way he did!
6. How do you honor him on Father’s Day?
Hubby and I remember our dads and talk over the special times together.
7. How has your relationship with him impacted the person/parent you are today?
He was always honest and fair and he passed that on to me. He also loved gardening, animals and nature and, thankfully, he gifted those traits to me also.
I am tagging…
Anyone who would like to share their dad with us. 💕